Relationship Advice: What is gaslighting and signs you are a victim of it?

Have you ever felt that you are losing yourself in a relationship, not in a healthy way? Sometimes in relationships, a partner behaves in a manipulative way to take control of the other one. It crosses the level of sanity when this turns into psychological abuse, known as gaslighting. The term originated from a 1938 mystery thriller named Gas Light and became popular after the movie release in 1944. A movie about how a husband manipulates his trusting wife into questioning her sanity and convincing her that she is acting strange. He makes her imagine things that make her believe that she’s going crazy. 

Gaslighting is a form of mental abuse that makes a person believe they are losing their mind. When your partner is gaslighting you, it alters your sense of reality and makes you question your thoughts, leaving you confused and wondering. Second-guessing your memory every now and then is okay as long as your relationship is not causing it. If your partner makes you constantly doubt yourself, then you are a victim of gaslighting. The manipulative tactic can erode your confidence where you lose to trust your instincts and feelings. It can even lead to mental health problems such as depression and anxiety. 

Here are signs of gaslighting you should watch out for. 

1) Your partner constantly makes you question your ability to remember things that happened in the past. They either deny it or blatantly lie about it. 

2) They always make you feel that you are the one causing problems in the relationship, even when you’re not. 

3) They use your insecurities against you, every chance they get. 

4) You feel insecure and uncertain in the relationship, but you don’t know why. 

5) You feel nervous and like you’re on the edge when you’re with them. 

6) They never admit to their faults and try to blame it all on you. 

7) They try to distort your perception and identity. You feel and think negatively about yourself. 

8) Despite bad treatment, you look to your partner for acceptance and approval. 

9) You try to cover up their poor behaviour by pretending everything’s okay or just den it. 

10) You feel you’re overreacting to everything in the relationship. 

11) You don’t trust your decisions anymore and what your partner says is always the right thing.  

12) You feel isolated, depressed and powerless. 

13) You wonder if you’re good enough for them. 

14) You are afraid of expressing your emotions. 

15) They might show extreme concern regarding your mental health and insist on getting treatment immediately.  

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