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EXCLUSIVE: Somy Ali on domestic violence: Intervene if you see or learn about anyone getting abused
In an exclusive interview with Pinkvilla, actor-turned-humanitarian Somy Ali explains the root cause of domestic violence cases.
(Content Warning: The article contains references to domestic assault, abuse and violence.)
Popular television couple Nisha Rawal and Karan Mehra recently made headlines due to trouble in their marriage. For the unversed, the actress has accused Karan of domestic violence and infidelity. Nisha has reportedly also accused him of 'constant physical abuse over the years'. The incident shook the TV industry and their fans. Actor-turned-humanitarian Somy Ali, whose NGO, No More Tears (NMT) has handled many such cases explains the root cause of domestic violence.
“It’s simply about one person having complete power and control over another human being. It’s our society deeming it to be “normal” and having a nonchalant attitude towards men beating women and the fact that women just have to put up with the abuse. I blame us. Our mindsets have allowed this to go on for centuries and it’s sickening that in 2021, we still do not anticipate an end to domestic violence. There is a limit to the expression, “Mind your own business.” No! Make it your business and make sure you intervene if you see or learn about anyone getting abused. Be it a woman, child or a man. We must take a stand and get rid of this patriarchal thought process. It’s about time,” says Somy, Founder and President of US-based NMT. Her foundation has been assisting and empowering ‘survivors of human trafficking and domestic violence’.
She also explains the common misconception that domestic violence is common only among the uneducated class. “This is because domestic violence does not discriminate and has no prejudices. I’ve had female doctors, even lawyers who have come to No More Tears seeking help. For the past 14 years, I’ve been helping victims from all ethnicities, professions, and yes, victims who are educated and financially stable, but have no clue how to even file a police report. It has always been there. I just think that women are speaking up more about it now. We are breaking the stigma finally and are not afraid of talking about being a victim and feeling like we did something wrong rather than the perpetrator,” she explains.
When actors, who are concerned about their public image, face any such issue, it becomes a concern for them given all the attention such things receive from media and their fans.
“Actors are human beings too, and it does not change the fact that they can be a victim or as abusive as your average person. First of all, it does not matter if they are famous, rich or actors. The fact that a man or a woman would willingly choose to raise their hand on someone makes them nothing, but an offender and a criminal. It’s sad to see women who have repeatedly been abused by famous actors still stick by their side and defend them solely due to the fear of how powerful their abusers were and remain to be. That right there is a big problem. It’s one thing to forgive but living in denial and losing your dignity is not something I would ever support at any cost,” Somy further states.
(If you need support or know someone who is struggling with domestic violence or assault or abuse, please reach out to your nearest mental health specialist, NGO or speak to someone about it. There are several helplines available for the same.)
