Here’s how to cope with the knowledge that your spouse is gay

If you have suddenly come to learn of the fact that your husband is gay, then you probably have a lot on your mind. While it can come as a shock to you, you may be left feeling a mixture of anger, hurt, confusion and even worry as you contemplate the state of your marriage. If you are thinking of becoming estranged from your spouse, considering getting divorced, or even separated temporarily you need to be extra careful if you have kids. So, read on to discover how you may best cope with this knowledge.

Calmly confront your spouse

Whether you suspect them of cheating with a same-sex partner or you have acquired proof of their infidelity; understand that coming out of the closet cannot be easy for them. Yet, marriage is more than just co-habitation, so you must converse with your partner and speak about other aspects of your marriage. Hence, no matter how tough the conversation may seem, you must confront your spouse about their sexual identity and your situation as a couple.

Admit that it needs two people to make your marriage work

This can include everything from your own sexual pleasure to wanting or not wanting to have children and your relationship with your spouse. After all, you have the rest of your life and your own happiness on the line. Should you wish to walk away from the marriage, this is a great time to bring up the subject and ask your spouse what they wish to do as well.

Take utmost care in speaking to your kids about the issue

You must make sure you maintain their respect for their father when you consider telling them about your situation. It would be best to quickly discuss the matter with your husband and discuss how best to tell your kids. If you both feel awkward about doing it, you can involve a counsellor or therapist and use their help to break the news gently to your little ones.

Alternatively, you can keep mum and wait till your kids are older and mature teenagers so they can better handle the news. Most parents understand that it is critical your kids feel loved and feel as though they are in no way accountable for the condition of your marriage.

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