3 Rules for dating your arranged match before you marry her

When you first meet a match who may be your spouse someday, you’re probably surrounded by your family and theirs. However, modern arranged marriages often allow the prospective couple to meet outside the home and get to know each other on a deeper level. While some couples are unofficially engaged at this point, others are courting each other with the approval of their families. Nevertheless, should you be meeting an arranged match for a coffee date then read on for some dating rules specific to your situation.

This is the perfect opportunity to bare your soul to your match. So, refrain from bringing a relative along to assuage your nerves. While it may help you get moral support, it could stop the other person from opening up about their true feeling on marriage. Despite this, many ask a friend or two to secretly get a separate table at the same coffee shop to bolster their confidence. Well, whatever floats your boat! But it would be wise to date minus your khandaan to truly get to know the other person.

Even if your cousins and uncles encouraged you to do so, do not ask someone exactly how much they would pay to marry you. Avoid asking about gifts her family would give you in the wedding. The question can be offensive. Consider that they might feel like a commodity when you probe them about money. Whether you have a new house and you want her family to furnish it, or want them to gift you a car, new lavish appliances; remember that gifts that aren’t reciprocated by you are a fancy term for dowry.

Many times, you may find that your parents set you up with someone you’re not interested in marrying. A private date is the ideal opportunity to be honest and politely convey your disinterest. Give them your absolute attention on the date, and make sure you don’t insult them if you wish to turn them down.

In such cases you must politely let them know rather than pick at flaws they might have as an excuse to end things.

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