9 Ways in which you can practice emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. Emotional intelligence or EQ is slowly becoming one of the most important, must-have skills in the professional world. To put it in simple words, it’s not just the ability to manage your own emotions, but if you cultivate your EQ, you can recognize the emotions of others as well. 

Moreover, companies that have more emotionally intelligent workers have observed major increases in the overall productivity of the workplace. Deeksha Grover Chilana, emotional wellbeing and mental health coach shared nine ways in which you can practice emotional intelligence:

Name the feeling. You need to start out by distinguishing clearly what you are feeling at a given point. Practice self-awareness and work on your intuitions. Especially with similar feelings, you may have a tendency to mix the two up. When you are feeling particularly bitter try to understand whether you are feeling anger or rage?

Practice self-detachment. Try to separate yourself from the feeling and view it in the third person perspective. This will help you judge your emotions better by disassociating them from yourself.

Address the action. Try creating a distinction between the emotion you are feeling towards a person and the reason which made you feel so. Instead of telling your friend 'I am annoyed with you,' say 'I am annoyed with you for coming late'. This will provide more clarity and avoid misunderstandings in the relationship.

Observe carefully. Never suppress any of these thoughts. The more you shield yourself from what is annoying you, the more it will affect you. Be observant of the thoughts and let them flow past you like clouds in the sky.

Notice sensations. Try to observe closely where you are experiencing changes in your body while having strong feelings. Where are you feeling heaviness, sensations, vibrations, or other changes which normally aren’t there?

Identify your emotional triggers. There are always specific things or people who repeatedly manage to trigger negative emotions in us. Identify them correctly and try to be proactive to have less of it in your life. If they are unavoidable people or things, then self analyze these trigger points and formulate a plan on how to manage them.

Figure out whether it’s a built-up story. Write down all the reasons for which you are feeling upset. Try to separate them from what actually happened. Cross out your own version of the story and read out the real incident at least 3 times to perceive the reality of the situation better.

Reflect on your emotions. Try putting a spotlight on the thoughts which are triggering you. Ask yourself, 'What is it that I am not ready to accept, that is making me feel this way?'

Practice acceptance. Know that there aren’t any good or bad, right or wrong emotions in this world. People tend to feel a certain way, in response to different situations they face in life. So whatever you are feeling is okay and you need to start accepting your own emotions with grace.

About the author: Deeksha Grover Chilana, Emotional wellbeing and Mental health coach

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