6 Ways to let go of your past and live with no regrets

Life experiences affect people in different ways. Some people find it easy to move on after a challenging experience, while others find that these experiences have had a lasting impact on their mental health.

Letting go of the past can be challenging, but not impossible. Any significant event of the past, especially, if it has been traumatic causes severe psychological wounds, and can influence the filter through which you view life. Regret, guilt, shame, resentment, anger, hurt are all heavy negative emotions, which if not released, pile up to what we know as ‘emotional baggage’. How many of us walk around carrying the baggage we accumulated on our journey of life?

Ms Urvashi, an emotional wellbeing coach shares with us a few helpful tips to keep in mind while trying to let go of the past.  

There are various ways to let go if only you are willing. It involves practising self-compassion, mindfulness as a way of focusing on the present moment, instead of the past, or seeking help from a professional to explore unresolved emotions.

If you find yourself feeling stuck in the rut of your past experiences, try these tips for letting go.

Embrace your emotions

Memories of past events can bring up strong emotions. Allowing oneself to feel those feelings unconditionally, without trying to fight or fix them, is an important step towards processing what happened. This can be difficult, so it may help to express these feelings in a safe place, such as in a journal, with a trusted friend, or with a therapist.

Take responsibility

It can be extremely empowering to take full responsibility for your feelings. This does not mean blaming oneself, but simply acknowledging what happened and taking ownership of past actions.

Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is living in the present moment, not dwelling in the past or worrying about the future. Indulging in grounding exercises or guided mindfulness meditations for as little as 10 minutes a day can stop the brain from going into a negative thinking overdrive and bring your mind back into the safety of the present moment.

Deep Breathing

You carry within you, a tool to unlock a state of calm – your breath! Find a quiet spot and close your eyes taking several deep breaths. Focus on inhaling and exhaling. When thoughts of the past come up, simply allow them for a moment before returning the focus to breathing. Make this a daily practice along with meditation.

Practice self-compassion and acceptance

Self-compassion involves treating oneself with the same kindness, care, and forgiveness that you give so freely to others. Acceptance is mere accepting without judgement. Be aware of your own negative self-talk.

Being open to forgiveness

The topic of forgiveness is controversial among people who have experienced betrayal, injustice, or abuse. Forgiveness does not mean condoning the harmful actions of others or accepting their apologies. Instead, forgiveness is a choice. It simply means cutting the cord with that painful event and moving on. This may involve processing emotional pain, understanding what caused it, and receiving lessons that your mind is seeking from those events. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.

It is important to remember that you are not your past, you are not your mistakes and you are not what you went through. Free yourself from the bondage of holding it all in. Talk about what’s tearing you apart inside. Express the emotions you feel to a coach, mentor, or friend that you can trust and simply, let go.

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