What a break up with your partner can teach you

“A break-up is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave than risk hurting yourself trying to pick up all of the broken pieces,” someone once said. Whether you broke up with your partner or were left heartbroken while your partner left, ending a relationship is never easy.

Letting go of someone you made memories with for months and years can be the most painful experience in life, but staying in a toxic cycle of emotions and feelings can be equally devastating. Now that you have decided to go on your separate ways, instead of thinking about what you lost, it can be uplifting to reflect on the lessons it can teach you.

Allyson Braithwaite Condie wrote in the book First Day, “Isn't it funny how the memories you cherish before a breakup can become your worst enemies afterwards? The thoughts you loved to think about, the memories you wanted to hold up to the light and view from every angle--it suddenly seems a lot safer to lock them in a box, far from the light of day and throw away the key. It's not an act of bitterness. It's an act of self-preservation. It's not always a bad idea to stay behind the window and look out at life instead, is it?” 

There are a few things you must bring your mind to.

1.      It wasn’t your mistake that it didn’t work out in the end.

2.    Cherish the memories and the time you had together. At the same time, be hopeful that you will make new memories with someone else in the future.

3.   There’s nothing you need to change about yourself to make a relationship work in the future.

4.    Focus on your well-being and pursue your interests.

5.     Shower all your love on friends and family or a close-knit group of people who care about you.

6.    Don’t get into a relationship or get a pet just because you’re lonely. Allow yourself to fall in love with yourself and cherish your own company.

7.     Not everyone will treat you like your ex did. Don’t lose hope. You will meet someone new in the future who may turn out to be better than what you had hoped for.

Shatter the walls you have built around yourself. Give yourself time to bloom again and remember Alexander Graham Bell’s words: “When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”