THESE are the right ways to cope up with a BREAK UP explained by psychologist Krishna Dewani

Breaking up with a person you love and have cherished for a long period of your life, I agree isn't easy. Breakups may happen due to the unhappiness of one or both partners in the relationship and one would rather choose to be happily single than unhappy in a relationship.

The greater problem of any breakup is the aftereffect of it: solitude, depression, obsessive thoughts and memories of the happy moments of the relationship, anger, revengeful attitude, loss of belief in love, anxiety, grief, etc are very common outcomes seen and felt by the people who break up.

The key is to overcome these issues and make your life meaningful with or without the partner. Let's see how:

1. Acceptance-

The first and foremost is to accept the fact that the relationship is "over". If the relationship was mutually broken then it is much easier for both partners to accept the singlehood and move on but in cases where one of the partners did not want the relationship to end or in cases of 'cheating', it gets difficult to accept the breakup. Thinking and reminding yourself about the fact that the relationship was not working well and there wasn't a good future together, helps in accepting the breakup.

2. Focus on yourself-

Most of the people in a relationship focus more on the partner rather than on themselves. They lose their true self and start being the person who is desired by their partner. So, after a breakup is the time when one must realise the true self and just be the person who they want to be and who they are rather than being fake. It's okay to not be perfect and find a perfectly imperfect partner for yourself the next time to be in a relationship with.

3. Follow your passion-

Many a times it so happens that in a relationship either of the partners aren't able to follow their passion due to the chains of the relationship that include, the long-distance, possessiveness, discouragement from the partner, separate interests, etc and so one isn't able to do what they want to do, for example, dancing, singing, acting, a course, further studies, travelling, adventure, or also as simple as getting a tattoo, etc. So now is the Chance that one can actually do what they want without the relationship barrier, follow your passion, invest time in achieving your dreams and focus on your own likes and interests.

4. Forgive and Let go-

Letting go the hate, grudge, anger, jealousy, doubt and pain can lighten you up at a great level. Keeping all the hatred within yourself will help you in no way but only worsen your mood and state of mind. Instead, just relax and let it all go from within. Accept that the person is no longer there and forgive yourself and him/her for what you or they have done while in the relationship. This will help in calming down and moving on.

5. Move on-

The most difficult part is 'moving on' for many. They say that the thought of moving on brings back even more memories and going on with the day gets worse. But rather I'd say, just don't keep reminding yourself about the breakup, that itself is moving on. Carry out your daily chores as you used to before, this time without informing someone constantly about it.
Go to all the parties you normally used to, this time without him/her. Meet all your friends just like you used to, this time without getting his/her topic in your conversation. These little changes are a part of moving on. See other people, make new friends, talk to your family and think about your future. Remember that "life doesn't end here, it continues with new experiences".
So, guys and girls, just relax, sit back and chill. The partner who you broke up with was not your whole life but just a part of it, you lived your life happily before him/her and will live the same way or with even more happiness without him/her. Be positive and believe in yourself and your destiny. You will come across people who are right for you and you will attract your tribe.

Keep smiling and cheer up!

- Krishna Dewani