Rebound relationships - 6 reasons they never work out

"Because the best way to get over somebody is to get under someone else..." 

Let's assume you've just come out of a long-term relationship and skip to the part where you're feeling lonely, confused and void. Belonging to this generation, you seek instant solace and want to look for the speediest remedy to cure your heartache. The first thing you do? You seek comfort in the arms of someone new. The classic "shoulder to cry on" surfaces and before you know it, you're in a new relationship. Since everything happened so soon, you've clearly not thought this through and neither have you had much time to weigh the pros and cons. All you know is that it's making you feel good. It's distracting you from the pain and it's temporarily sedating. 

Now, contrary to popular belief and the quote above, let's talk about the cons of being involved in such a relationship. Studies suggest that more often than not, rebounds are the worst kind of relationships to be in and rarely ever work out in the long run. Just like a drug, it's only a temporary fix and will only do you more harm.

One would ask why we, as humans, willingly put ourselves through this even though we know it might not be good for us. Well, the fact remains that we need love. We need to feel wanted and we're scared of feeling lonely. We avoid addressing important questions like "Why did this happen?" and "What is it that I'm actually looking for?" and that is the perfect recipe for a bad decision - a rebound relationship. 

If you're still not convinced, here are 6 reasons why such a relationship is a huge NO-NO: 

1. No time to introspect 

Every failed relationship has something to teach us. Since most of the time both you and your partner are instrumental in the failed relationship, it is always healthy to take some time out to introspect and analyse where you went wrong. This will help you in your future relationships and you will know how to handle such situations ahead. A rebound relationship won't allow you the time for this and hence, there's a good chance of you making the same mistake all over again.

2. You aren't your true self 

Post a breakup, you are an emotional wreck and can't seem to think as clearly. At this crucial and vulnerable stage, if you get involved with someone, you might tend to suppress parts of your personality that you think might be unattractive and hence, you turn into a whole new version of yourself. Unfortunately, you can't keep up this act forever and there's bound to be a time when your partner will discover the real you. 

3. Too much baggage

We all know that breakups leave us with a good amount of baggage that we need to clear and pack-up before we move on to something new. While this emotional baggage might not be a hindrance at the start of your relationship, that's only because it takes some time for that to creep back in. But it will. So if you don't bravely deal with what matters, it won't be long before your partner is overwhelmed by your issues and you'll have to end another relationship. 

4. Comparisons

If you don't give yourself enough time to come out of your previous relationship, after a while, you're bound to start comparisons in your head. You'll jump to conclusions that the new lover doesn't understand you like the previous one or doesn't know you as well as the one before and that is obviously not fair. No two people will love you the same. So give yourself some time to get over your past and then get into something new. 

5. You're not over you ex

The most simple reason for you not to get into something new is because you aren't over your ex. As much as you deny it, the truth remains that you cannot get someone out of your system so effortlessly, especially if it was a long-term relationship. This is obviously not fair to your new partner nor is it good for you. 

6. It's needy

Needy is not healthy and though sometimes it's perfectly normal to feel that way, to start a relationship with the aim to fill a void is just not okay. Because you're needy, you might end up being a tad bit (or a lot) clingy and insecure This could be a super turn-off for your new partner. Nobody likes clingy and insecure. 

So if you're ever on the verge of slipping into a rebound relationship, take a moment. Breathe. Ask yourself the necessary questions and only then make your final move. It's all fun and games until you realise you've only transitioned from the frying pan into the fire. While it's alright to mingle and indulge in some healthy flirting, always be cautious. You know what they say... flirting can be a risky business. One wrong move and you're committed. Again!