Monday Motivation - 10 ways to revive your relationship

Stagnant relationship? Do you feel like your relationship isn’t quite what it used to be? It's only natural that once you're into a long-term relationship, there's bound to be a time when things become 'routine' and that's not always bad. 

There are many reasons why routines become ingrained in our day – it helps us to be more efficient, it prevents decision-fatigue and more. The problem, however, is it become easy and comfortable and spills over into all areas of our life, including our relationships and routine is known to be associated with boredom or unhealthy phlegmatic feelings. 

If that's what you're going through, there's no need to worry anymore. To help you revive your relationship, we’ve reviewed sufficient research to bring you the 8 most powerful, scientifically proven ways to improve virtually any bond. These tips also happen to be the key ingredients that go into making a good relationship work, so even if you think everything’s great, you can use this list as a diagnostic tool to make sure you and your partner are on the road to relationship bliss...

1. Solidify your friendship

As an adult, an insecure attachment style is associated with a slew of relationship troubles, including jealousy, obsession, and emotional highs and lows. The good news is that, regardless of your present pattern, you can become more securely attached, or connected, to your partner by developing a deeper friendship. To do that, incrementally spend more time with her doing something you both enjoy. Also, regularly ask for updates on your partner’s likes, dislikes and new interests, as people change over time.

2. Go to bed at the same time 

Bedtime is a routine for all of us, but it often happens that our morning and work schedules are at odds with those of our partners. If your partner is always in bed before you, follow them at least a few nights in the week. Read together, lie together, “and tell me about your day!”

3. Appreciate each other 

Remember when you first started dating, how you used to go that extra mile to impress her? Well, one of the secrets to a long, fulfilling relationship is to continue to actively appreciate your partner. You don’t necessarily have to pull out all the stops the way you did back in the day, but regular efforts to show your partner that you appreciate her will do wonders for improving your relationship.

4. The power of touch

A diminishing sex life is one of the most common complaints in otherwise happy relationships. One of the primary reasons for this is that, as we become more comfortable with someone, we actually touch them less. Making an effort to have more physical intimacy is a tried and tested solution.

5. Don't distort

Researchers have known for a long time that unhappy couples focus on the negatives in their relationships. If you find yourself stuck in this rut of distorted thinking, the next time you have a negative thought about something your partner has done try to come up with a more neutral explanation for her actions. Another strategy is to consider whether you would judge yourself so harshly if the situation were reversed. Finally, remind yourself often of the good times you’ve spent together recently.

6. Understand Anger

While outbursts of anger are common even in healthy relationships, when anger becomes an entrenched part of your couple life, you should be concerned. Think back to the last argument you had with your partner and use this new knowledge to decode messages of what you and your partner were each trying to communicate. Attempting to disregard the angry tone you both used and trying to tune in to what you were each really trying to say will help you to see that you both have needs in your relationship that make sense. For instance, “You’re a workaholic!” might really mean “I miss you and want to spend more time with you.”

7. Surprise your partner 

Surprise him every so often—whether it's a silly card, sexy lingerie or his favourite dessert. These small gestures can leave a big impact, especially when you're way past the infatuation stage.

8. Pamper yourself

Though this may sound surprising, pampering yourself is always a good idea. Especially for those who are in a long-term relationship and don't pay much attention to their physical appearance. Sometimes, it's nice to go and get your legs waxed or your eyebrows threaded. It'll make you feel and look more feminine, which always works for the better!