Is it A Fling Or A Serious Relationship? Decoding the Path.

You meet someone you like, you start going on dates and eventually a new bond is formed. A bond filled with chemistry, butterflies, first kisses, and then, slowly but surely, the panic sets in. Does he feel the same way? And, if he does, are we exclusive? Our dating world is filled with ambiguity. So, how do you know if your newfound connection is a fling or has the potential to be something serious?

Are you putting in all the effort? 

Does he call you or text you as much as you do? Is the effort mutual? Most of the time men give us signs of how they want the relationship to go and we just happen not be paying attention. If he is calling you once a week only to make a plan then that doesn’t really count as truly wanting to get to know you romantically. If he wanted to pursue a serious relationship with you, don’t you think he would want to know how your day was going instead of just wanting to know when he can see you? 

Have you met his family?  

Friends don’t count. Some guys don’t really care whether their friends think they are with someone exclusively or not. Women care about that! However, what they do care about, is which girl that they decide to bring home. If he did not want to pursue something serious with you, trust me, the last thing he would do is introduce you to his family. So, if he has introduced you that is surely a good sign.

Do you just stay in? 

Does he actually take you on dates? Or does your one-on-one time together always seem to be at home? If he is not taking you out, then this could be a big red flag. Part of dating is courting. He should want to do things with you other than just ‘Netflix and chill’. Also, why keep your shared bond behind closed doors? 

Is he there for you? 

Yes, my readers, although a simple question it is the defining factor of every real connection. When you're upset, had a fight with someone, or rethinking your goals in life, is he ever truly there? If he truly cares about you, he would want to be that guy you turn to for these things. He would take pride in being able to be that person for you. At the end of the day, relationships are about being there for one another, that’s all they really are. 

Starting a new bond with someone is always a risk. You never know if they are going to feel the same way, if it will turn into a committed relationship or if someone is going to get their heart broken. However, don’t let that scare you from dating altogether. It is part of the process. And who knows? If you keep playing and holding on to what you truly seek, you might actually find what you are looking for. If you never try, you’ll never know. Heartbreak is just an emotion. And, experiencing every emotion is part of living. 

Don’t get benched in your own love life. If you're not willing to play the game, you will never know…what winning feels like. 

By Shahzeen Shivdasani. Known as SOBO's relationship Love Guru, you can check out more advice given by her on her relationship and dating centred blog, Avec Shaz.