Friend or Frenemy - 7 ways to find out

"An honest enemy is always better than a friend who lies." 

According to Wikipedia, a 'Frenemy' is an oxymoron and a portmanteau of "friend" and "enemy" that refers to a person with whom one is friendly, despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry or a person who combines the characteristics of a friend and an enemy.

Have you often had instances where you wonder if a certain friend is actually your friend or is an enemy disguised as a friend? Well, chances are you have, but you couldn't really reach a conclusion and so, you just let it slip, continuing to allow that person to be a part of your life. 

This is the biggest mistake we make. Often, our intuition tells us something about a person, but since there's no hard proof, we tend to ignore and overlook certain signs that are actually warnings. Not everyone that shows interest in your day to day life is genuinely interested in your well-being. Sadly, sometimes those people may be nothing but curious to know what's happening and to add to your agony, they're often the ones who slyly start a rumour or stir up trouble for you. 

As they say, every helping hand isn't there to help, sometimes, people disguised as friends just want a front seat to watch you struggle through a difficult time. But how do you tell the difference? Well, we've broken it down to 7 easy ways you can spot a fake friend from a real friend. 

So the next time your 'frenemy' tells you that shade of lipstick looks so fab on you (and you know it doesn't), take a step back and think about these pointers...

1. A frenemy shares too much 

Someone who opens up too quickly and tells you their whole life story in a heartbeat should always be dealt with tactfully. Firstly because it's never normal for someone to give you every detail about their lives without knowing you too well and secondly because sometimes people do this to make you comfortable and ready to spill the beans on your life. Be wary of such people, who enter your life claiming to be the bestest friend you've never had and telling you how you can share anything with them. Chances are, if it appears too good to be true, it is!

2. A frenemy will humorously insult you 

Though it may not strike you at first, this is one of the major signs your friend is actually a frenemy. In public, they will pull your leg to an extent where you'll often question yourself thinking 'Is she a friend or an enemy?' but as I said before, you're most likely to let it pass and pretend like it never happened. Well, let's hope you'll now know better than letting it slip. 

3. Frenemies are often over-dramatic when accused 

If you've ever called out a 'friend' for being too much of a b*tch and they've brought the roof down, there's definitely something not right. A real friend will always take it in the right spirit and will have all the logical points in order to defend their actions. A fake friend will make a mountain out of a molehill and will start getting super aggressive, abusive and sometimes even violent. 

4. Your intuition is never wrong 

Trust your intuition. If you're getting negative vibes from a so called friend, question it and try to find out the root cause of the negativity. Where is it stemming from? What has caused you to feel this way? When a person is being fake and you get the feeling that he/she is not a well-wisher, 90% of the time you are correct. 

5. You can see jealousy on her face 

Whether it's the announcement of your promotion or your new job, the facial expressions of your 'friend' will tell you if she is genuinely happy for you. You will often be able to see a streak of jealousy on her face and you will soon notice the competitive responses she gives. 

6. She seeks to be the centre of attention 

Frenemies are often hunger starved people, who get really annoyed at the thought of someone else being the focus. If she's desperate for attention and will probably sell you out to get a date, she's not your friend, for sure!

7. She doesn't invite you to 'important' events and parties 

Since she's hungry to be the centre of attention, she will exclude you out of any major plans that she has. This is because she doesn't want anyone (like you) to steal her thunder, if at all. Also, she will be the first one to land up at all your events and will be miffed if you don't invite her. 

Have you ever experienced a friendship like this? Let us know in the comments below...