Karan Kapadia on aunt Dimple Kapadia: 'Her life’s been like a movie- ups & downs, success and loss'; EXCLUSIVE

Her face is much like the canvas she’s conversant with. Strokes and shades, it displays it all. Just as her brandy eyes mirror the shenanigans of the seasons, the hangover of a life gone past. While filmmaker Mrinal Sen described her face as ‘a landscape of desolation’, Dimple Kapadia went beyond that. A woman of agency, her silver strands celebrate a confidence well-earned.

At the cusp of stardom, 16-year-old Dimple gave it up to become Rajesh Khanna’s child bride in 1973. Swapping ponytails and skirts for chiffons and diamonds, the nation’s Bobby turned a trophy wife for the superstar. Still a teen, she went on not only to cradle two children but also grew up overnight, witnessing the spiral down of her megastar husband.

A decade later, her daydream over, she picked up the scattered threads of her own narrative and scripted a career in films. Excelling in roles that somewhere found resonance in her, Dimple’s performances in Aitbaar, Kaash, Rudaali, Lekin, Angaar, Dil Chahta Hai, Being Cyrus, Luck By Chance, have been the toast of critics.

Running parallel, her personal world was hit by heartbreaks. Youngest sister/actor Reem Kapadia’s sudden death in 1991. Losing sister/actor/costume designer Simple Kapadia to cancer in 2009. 45 days later and just before Christmas on 24 December 2009, her younger brother, Suhail Kapadia (fondly known as Munna), met with a car accident and slipped into a coma. Dimple, who’d cared for him like a mother, was devastated by his demise just a few months before husband Rajesh Khanna’s passing away in 2012. That she stood unyielding during Rajesh’s last days, giving him a decorous send-off, only reiterated that their relationship had come of age. With a few handpicked films and a few cherished relationships, life for Dimple today is tranquil. On her 65th birthday, nephew/actor Karan Kapadia (Blank and Durgamati: The Myth), whom she’s also adopted, reveals fascinating aspects of the woman she is.

In Karan Kapadia’s own words:

Affectionate aunt

My childhood was spent in Juhu in a huge bungalow. I lived in a joint family, which included my Nani (late Betty Kapadia), my mother (late actor/costume designer Simple Kapadia), Auntoo (Karan’s pet name for aunt Dimple), and my sisters Twinkle (Khanna) and Rinke (Khanna). Those days Auntoo used to be busy shooting round the clock. She moved out in 1997 when I was around four.

Auntoo’s always been extremely passionate about art and artifacts. Once, as a kid, I was playing around with my football in her house. It went and hit one of her prized possessions – a beautiful cross. The cross fell off the wall and broke. I was so petrified; I didn’t visit her for nearly two months. One day when I finally did, she casually remarked to someone present there that her prized cross had broken and she wondered who’d done that. Feigning ignorance, I asked, “Auntoo it broke?” She retorted in mock anger, “You rascal! I know you broke it!”

Auntoo and I grew closer after Mom fell ill (Simple Kapadia was diagnosed with cancer around 2006). I must have been around 11 and too young to do anything. Nani was old. So Auntoo looked after her. She had Mom and me move in with her. She made Mom feel as comfortable as she could. She’d be by her side all the time, not sleeping enough herself, tending to her needs, looking after her. She’d talk to the doctors and mark her progress. She was proactively involved at all levels. I will never forget that. I remain eternally indebted to her.

My world of women

I grew up in a family predominantly of women with Nani, Auntoo, and of course Mom- all being my mothers. My sisters Twinkle and Rinke are way older than me. They’ve also been maternal towards me. The women have been like the ‘men of the house’. Twinkle began working while she was just 18. She bought her own car. Rinkie went to Boston, did theatre, and then films. Auntoo was the head of the family, the cornerstone. She’s been a caregiver to all. And because she’s there all the time, you don’t realize the burden she’s taken off you.

In fact, my uncle (late Sohail Kapadia fondly called Munna), met with an accident shortly after Mom passed away (10 November 2009). When the tragedies were snowballing, I remember Auntoo saying, “One truth I know about bad times is that they don’t last. At some point it has to change. So also with the good. Nothing’s going to be there forever.” That outlook helps me every day. Or else it’s easy to feel bad for yourself and go down that road. Auntoo doesn’t believe in playing the victim. Nor has she ever said that life’s been unfair.

While I was growing, I was protected from a lot of truths. I guess it was too much for a child to take. They never let me know about Mom’s condition. But today I am a grown up man of 28. I have been living with Auntoo for 13 years. As time passed, we’ve had many conversations where she’s been a bit vulnerable and let me in about how things were back then.

Grey glory

Undeniably, Auntoo’s extremely beautiful. But she’s never been preoccupied with the vanity of the business. She was 16 when she began working. She has been doing it for half a century. How long can a person be into herself? Humility steps in with age. But Auntoo’s always been like this. She paid attention to her work and her performance which is why she’s still doing the kind of work she does. Beauty can only take you so far. Beyond that, you need perseverance and talent to be doing it for so long.

Auntoo’s not obsessed with the mirror. She has no qualms about going grey. But since she’s been working quite a bit in the last couple of years (Dimple was last seen in Christopher Nolan’s Tenet (2020), the thriller series Tandav (2021), and has Ayan Mukerji’s Brahmastra coming up), she has to dye her hair in keeping with the characters. I respect her for aging gracefully. She’s always been admired for her gorgeous hair. But I have never seen her follow a beauty regime. It’s just natural. My hair was frizzy, I asked her for tips. She said, “There’s no technique. Either you are born with it or not.” Though she’s a foodie, she’s strict about her diet when she’s working. Her work ethics are strong. She will want to look as good as she possibly can and in keeping with her character. When she’s not shooting, she does indulge in what she likes to eat.

Heart and art

Experiences have hardened her. Her life has been like a movie, ups, and downs, success and loss, tragedies. She's experienced so much. It’s hard to put yourself in her shoes. But she dealt with it all so well. It’s because of the person she is and the relationships she’s built. We can never do all that she’s done for us but we’re always there for her. Yet the point is she’ll never let us know that she’s feeling low. She’s always positive, always upbeat.

Not only family, but she’ll also be around even for a friend. Unko ullu banakar, unko scam kar, unka paisa lootkar, if you tell her that you committed the fraud because you needed the money, she will still help you. Earlier, I’d tell her, ‘Stop giving so much… not only materially but also of yourself and your energy to people.’ But that’s what makes her special. All the good deeds come back to her.

Painting is more than a hobby for her. It’s a kind of meditation. Something she does purely for herself. That’s why the thought of exhibiting her work has never crossed her mind. She paints angels, and abstract stuff and generally plays around with colours. She watches videos that talk about different techniques of paintings, like finger painting, and emulates that. She believes in good energy, good vibes, and good karma. Because of her, I know so many mantras, bhajans, and prayers by heart because I hear her chant those. She loves the mountains and painting there or just soaking in the peace. You need to be spiritual to enjoy all that.

I have said it before. I say it again. I didn’t grow up with a father. Instead, I grew up with two mothers. Auntoo being one of them. And I consider myself lucky for that.

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