What the f*** is Tashan? -- RK Mukherjee's blog

Akshay Kumar - Yeh kya hai?
Kareena Kapoor – Mera bra… please iss ko sukha do na!
Akshay Kumar – Chhee… main yeh sab nahin karta…
Kareena Kapoor – Kyon tum apni chaddi nahin sukhaate ho?

YUCK!
And this conversation continues. For a while you may think that I am talking about some C-grade Hindi porn movie. But hold your breathe, I am talking about the most awaited film of this year - Yashraj's latest release Tashan.

Considering the fact that Yash Raj is one of the most prestigious banners in Bollywood, it comes like a shocker to its loyalists (like me) who watch Yashraj Films without any prejudice. But since 2007, they have probably taken the audience for granted. I am just wondering why they made films like Neil And Nikki, Jhoom Barabar Jhoom and Laga Chunari Mein Daag. Barring Dhoom:2 and Chak De! India, the production house has failed miserably to make any impact on the audience.

Yash Chopra, considered (still) the doyen of Indian cinema, has made films which are considered library assets. But it seems that since Aditya Chopra has become the deciding head of this prestigious company, the films are going from bad to worse.

If they are trying to sell nonsensical cinema in the name of 'ishstyle', how long can they cheat the audience and ask for 55 per cent share in the multiplexes? Calling themselves the 'baap of Bollywood cinema', they need to understand just one fact - no one is bigger than the audience.

My fellow colleague puts it correctly, "Democracy is reborn every Friday in our country, we may not be able to vote out our corrupt netas, but surely can show bad filmmakers the door." And they have certainly shown debutant director Vijay Krishna Acharya the way out.

I was actually appalled to see a debutant director going ahead with a completely shoddy script (if there was anything called a script in the film) and the biggest stars in the country to dish out one of the trashiest films made in recent times. If the entire idea was to pay a tribute to the 70's Bollywood films where 'badla', 'khoon' and 'tamasha' were interwoven without any logical explanation, then the director has failed to feel the pulse in those movies. In spite of an illogical plot, those films had their own charm. And I think since we’ve all grown up seeing those movies, we want something better than that now.

Frankly speaking, I think Akshay Kumar was the only saving grace in the film, (though his action sequences were beyond any logic and he floated most of the time, defying the law of gravity) while Kareena Kapoor (the highly paid actress, huh!) gave a below average performance. She flaunted her rickety body wearing almost nothing in the film. While Saif Ali Khan (not so hot) was behaving like a child lost in a candy store. He hammed from scene A to Z. And Anil Kapoor surely can bag the worst villain award of this century for his act.

We have seen over rated villains like Ajit, Prem Chopra, Jeevan, KS Singh, Roopesh Kumar, Shakti Kapoor, Sadashiv Amrapurkar and Gulshan Grover. But Anil Kapoor seems to be the shoddiest of them all. His dialogues were crappy and his performance was suicidal. He tried to ape the villains from late 70's and failed miserably.

I would still vouch for one of those B-grade Bollywood revenge movies like Sitapur Ki Geeta, Ramkali, Kasam Suhaag Ki or Sherni, than this 'trying too hard' fashionable film.

How long can Yash Raj sustain this? The gimmick of making style-of-art cinema, is a smart way to fool the audience. How long can they command viewership after dishing out such abysmal film?

I am sure that Yash Raj can make much better films, considering the fact that they have made sensible cinema and few of the best romantic films in India.

There is a definite gap between the thought process of the new generation and Mr Aditya Chopra for sure and this needs to be sorted out.

I think even the stars need to understand that a production house that can give you good money, and fabulous publicity campaign need not necessarily have a sound script as well. And it's the script and the director that can make a film a hit. For example, Tashan in spite of having such huge stars like Akshay, Saif and Kareena, sank without leaving a trace. (I am sure that the production house will come up with full page advertisement on their box-office collection very soon!

I know it for a fact that most of the stars crave to work with Dharma Productions and Yash Raj Films. For them money and banner matters the most, no wonder a noted film critic writes in his review that, "None of the actors in Tashan seems to have shown any kind of interest in the film. They just did the film because it was Yash Raj!"

It's a known fact that Yash Raj refuses to pay the actors their market price and claims that they're the best in the market since they don't pay astronomical amount to stars. But considering the fact that they have failed to deliver a single hit in a year, now they need to revise that vision. The arrogance definitely needs to go.

The stars too need to use some senses (which is a rarity these days) and judge the script and not the banner. Instead of saying, "I am working with Yashraj Films," they should start saying, "I am working in a sensible film!" That is what you call Tashan…

NB: While writing my blog, I get this SMS from a Bollywood actor who just stepped out after watching Tashan. He writes, "Guess what Shah Rukh would have asked Aditya Chopra after watching Tashan? Kya aap paanchvi pass se tez hain?"