Hema Malini on Esha Deol's birth

"When I saw Esha, I forgot everything else" Hema relives her most glorious moment.

"Love is having a daughter and a son who look like Dharamji." The world was shocked when an otherwise shy and prudent Hema Malini made this statement at the peak of her romance with Dharmendra. Two years later, Esha Deol was born. I was there to share what was as Hema put it, 'the most happy and rewarding moment' of her life. I still remember Hema's ecstatic face. Radiating pride and happiness as we stood in her nursery, done up in shades of blue. She had thought she would get a son.

It may have been a controversial issue for the prudes because of the existence of Dharmendra's first wife Prakash and his four grown up children, but Esha's birth was truly a glorious event in Hema Malini's life.

For the first time I saw Hema drop her defenses. She laughed more easily and could talk of little else but her newborn baby. "Everyone had predicted that I was going to have a son," she smiled her famous smile. "To be honest, deep down I too wanted a son. So, I bought everything for the child in blue. But now that I have her, nothing else matters." Holding a couple-of-weeks-old Esha in her arms, she beamed, "Everyone thinks she looks like Dharamji, and even though I think so too, it's too early to say anything yet."

Hema recounted the last few months of her pregnancy in accurate detail. "I did all the shopping for her in London. Dharamji was with me when I went to Mother-Care. Whenever I stopped at the children's counter he'd feel so embarrassed, he would make some excuse and stroll away to the other end of the store," the dream girl laughed. "I had earlier thought of having the baby in London, because many of Dharamji's relatives live there. But later I changed my mind. I wanted my mother and my family to be with me.

"Believe me, the birth of my daughter was the most beautiful experience in my life. But it was also a very anxious time. I'm sure it would not be the same when I have my second child. There was too much tension at home about the time the baby was born. Because though I'd completed nine months, there was no sign of pre-delivery pains! On the night of November 11, Dharamji was going for a preview. I pestered him to take me with him. He refused, because he didn't think I was in a condition to see a film. He was right. As soon as he left, I had to be rushed to the hospital. They didn't take me in my usual van to avoid recognition. We went in another car. My lady doctor was with me, besides others. Generally, I can cope with any situation. But this one time I couldn't. I was suddenly very scared. I lay quiet, my head in my doctor's lap. Dharamji was called back from the preview.

"I wasn't getting the pains so they had to induce labour. My one distinct memory during my most agonising pains was a shrill cry. The cry that brought with it, so much solace and made me a mother. In a matter of minutes my entire family was by my side, but nobody would tell me that I had had a girl. They thought I'd be disappointed. But when I saw her, I forgot everything else. The first thing I noticed about her was her hair. Unlike me she wasn't bald. (They say I was a bald baby). I wouldn't exchange her for any son in this world," Hema looked adoringly at baby Esha as she handed her to the nurse and led me to her bedroom.

Her bedroom had acquired a new look too. There was a sleek-looking, portable cradle in front of her large, canopied doublebed. On the sideboard was a baby's weighing machine, baby food, milk bottles and her small frilly dresses; innumerable dolls were strewn around even though Esha was too small to play with them. On the bed was an album full of Esha's photographs with dad Dharamendra and other family members. "I clicked them all myself." Hema informed me." Besides Dharamji and me nobody is allowed to photograph my baby."

Hema had had to resume work soon after Esha's birth, even though she was reluctant to. "Now when I go to work I miss my daughter a lot, even though I do only one shift a day. She can't travel with me," the neo-mom complained. "Dharamji is a strict father. He's dead against the child being brought to the studios. Even before she was born he'd made it very clear that he wasn't going to let her anywhere near the studios. When I return home in the evenings, sometimes I find her restless and crying, till I take her in my arms. Otherwise she is a well behaved baby. You know she's a Scorpio. I am told Scorpio girls are very difficult to handle. Lets see how I handle her."

We chatted while Esha slept, peacefully unaware of the curiosty she had evoked all over the country. Unaware of the contribution she had made to the lives of the media-made legendry lovers. "People are bound to be curious about her because of her parents," Hema agreed. "After all, she's the culmination of the most talked-about relationship of the decade. Dharamjee doesn't want her to be exposed to the glare of publicity at all. He is very possessive about her. My relationship with Dharamji has also changed after her birth. Recently, I accompanied Dharamji to Hyderabad, where he was shooting. I thought it would be like old times. But it wasn't. Every two hours I was on the phone, calling Mumbai, enquiring about my daughter. I was anxious, and terribly impatient to be with her. Eventually, I cut short my holiday and came back."

I wondered why she had named her first-born, Esha. "Esha is a Sanskrit word, derived from the Upanishads," Hema explained. "It means the divine beloved. Her birth has made me realise how incomplete my existence was before her. There is in me, an overwhelming emotion alien to me. I feel different. There is a sense of belonging. At last there is someone who is all mine and whom I don't have to share..."