Fan Blog: Ae Intezaar Hai Mushkil - a fan's tribute to ADHM

My alarm went off this morning, I knew I had to be up for work. I snoozed it and snoozed it again, unwilling to rise, and suddenly, as if like the flash of a lightning, it occurred to me that the teaser of Ae Dil Hai Mushkil would've been out. I rose and picked my computer up, placed it on my lap, turned it on, plugged the headphones in, found youtube, found out that the teaser was indeed up, clicked it, paused it, and took a deep breath, before pressing play.

I was far too nervous for it to make an impression on me the first time. I played it again, and again, and again, and as the euphoria subsided, the awe grew, its melancholy crystallised, and my eyes welled up as they bore witness to the incredible dream that was at last becoming real.

As most of you would agree, those ninety four seconds haven't a single false note, and every single one of them a highlight in its own right, beginning with Kapoor's magnetic hold of the frame in those opening moments; the carefreeness in him as he lets himself free when in possession of Sharma's company, and the care in him as he lets Rai-Bachchan lay her head on his shoulder, as he buries his face in her embrace. There's Khan with the ease and the force of a wind blowing in, and there's Rai-Bachchan turning around to look at Kapoor in that oh-so-lovely glance. (Oh that look on that centre-parted perfect face!)

And then there of course is Miss Sharma herself, commanding every frame, from the second she appears on screen, wrapping that brocade around herself, swinging with the door, skating on ice, riding on the scooter; and that moment when, as Kappor tries to grab hold of her in an attempt to stop her from walking off, she shudders with anger and seethes ahead on her way: Forgive me if this sounds like an exaggeration, but I have never seen in a leading lady, or a man for that matter, that frankness of anger, that instinct, that impulse; that truth played out on screen. (I have a feeling that I, a spectator, am finding myself falling surprsingly in love with this leading lady, because Johar, her creator, has found himself falling in love with her in a similar fashion).

Now something that has upset me over the years is the film that Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna could have been. That film has a sadness I have yet to manage to shake off. I watched it on the evening of its release, and I have watched it several times since. And it is a true testament to Johar's big beating heart that in spite of not appearing to have the firmest faith and the strongest conviction in his creation, he managed to transmit the ache that fuelled his labour of love to the hearts of us, his audience.

But to my great delight, and I'm sure to many of his admirers, its emotional offspring Ae Dil Hai Mushkil appears to not only be poetry in motion, but a beast with unchained freedom. Not only does it promise to be a thing of beauty, but also to be the dance unspooling out of Johar's palace of heart, whose windows now seem thrown wide open; whose furntiture seem free of the fabric that covered them in an attempt to keep them safe; whose hedges have been trimmed, the lawn mowed, stuffiness sold off and collar unbuttoned.

As I watched it perhaps for the hundredth time this afternoon, looking for more detail, searching for some more clues, I sensed in myself an impatience, the yearning for more of what I was seeing. But then, I realised, it was, in fact, a teaser. Its job was to tease us and make us anticipate for more, and tease me it did. And the wait for this, is indeed extremely difficult.