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Colours of Courage: Born biologically male, Ritz Aher a transwoman activist empowers India’s trans community
Here is a story of a born biologically male, Ritz Aher who is a transwoman activist and has been empowering India’s trans community.
Ritz Aher was born male biologically, but at an early age they realized gender dysphoria. Their parents, on the other hand, never approved of them dancing in a dupatta to Bollywood songs. "Tu hijra to nahi haina?" they would frequently ask. Parents of transgender individuals tend to be denial and they frequently feel that there is a shame associated with the issue. The same scenario was being faced by Ritz at home. “I used to go to my mother for support whenever I wanted to wear nail polish or dress up like a female, but she never did. My mother has never embraced me since I was in seventh grade, which usually still makes me cry,” states Aher.
“In my childhood I was always attracted to dolls and liked pretending to cook with kitchen sets. I also used to enjoy impersonating Bollywood heroines on television. On the ground, I was never interested in playing cricket or football with boys. My neighbors used to protest to my parents about me playing with the girls when I went outside to play with them,” recalls the 26-year-old transwoman activist.
Overtime, Ritz became a victim of several hate crimes in the society. “Whenever I along with my family went to Mangalore from Mumbai for our summer vacations, I felt discriminated against. Boys used to torment me with names like bayla, gudh and mamu. But I never paid attention to such things because I was never conscious of my own identity until then,” exclaims Ritz. In response to the situation in Ritz's hometown, their grandmother also relocated to Mumbai. She adored Ritz a great deal. They left their village in 2003 after she sold her house and relocated to Mumbai. Ritz believes the sole reason they all lost their relations with their hometown was because of Ritz.
The road ahead wasn't a cakewalk. Ritz was set on pursuing modelling and fashion design after passing its tenth grade, but their parents were adamant that this was something only girls did. “My parents told me that if I continued in this line of work, I would become a hijra. I've always been aware that I'm a transwoman. All transgender people are hijras in my parents' eyes.” Thereafter, they pushed Ritz to finish their 12th grade and enroll in a college course with commerce background. They did it for its parents’ happiness, and as soon as they completed the course, Ritz stood up for themselves and sought a career in fashion design.
Their two coworkers backed Ritz up and encouraged to pursue their goal. They even managed to persuade Ritz's parents. Ritz's mother is still opposed to everything, but their father has accepted Ritz the way they are. They finished their fashion design degree and began modelling for their trans community after that. “My mother raised a ruckus when my image was published in the magazine with the feminine costume I was wearing at the time, asking that what would the neighbors say if they saw me dressed like this. After that episode, she didn't speak to me for 3-4 months,” utters Ritz in disappointment. Today, Ritz works as an activist for an organization that provides refuge and skill development for transgender youth.
Ritz often felt unsafe at their very home. “My family has always been hostile to my way of life. What did I expect from the outside world if my family couldn't understand me? I gradually began to live on my own terms. I started wearing the clothing that made me feel good, but then my parents began abusing me. They used to verbally attack me and utter derogatory things about me, causing me to become mentally disturbed,” they confess. Telling a youngster that he or she is incorrect or that he or she has made a mistake can result in profound and irreversible damage, as well as alienation, as Ritz experienced.
Speaking about an instance of discrimination they faced, Ritz discloses, “I was by myself when I went to a hospital to get my grandfather treated. As I began to take out the case document, I was informed that they would see me near the finish. I informed them that I was in line and the doctor attended to my grandfather, who had fainted in the meantime. Finally, the doctor apologized, explaining that people like me, come to take advantage of the situation.”
Ritz began their transwoman transition with the intention of never looking back, regardless of what society or their parents said. “The society believes that a transgender person belongs solely to the hijra community. People are unfamiliar with the terms of trans-woman, trans-man, and non-binary people. This is a notion that needs to be educated on. The most common misunderstanding about transwomen is that we are only associated with sex work. Because we altered our identities as we grew up, we were always labelled as sex toys,” says Ritz.
Ritz has never suffered any discrimination in the modelling profession during their modelling career. “Models are very aware of the issue and are supportive of our community. In fact, I used to change my clothes in the same room as other female models, and they never made me feel uncomfortable,” they comment.
Ritz’s message to other aspiring models from the trans community is, “People should be sufficiently informed about their own identities. If you want to pursue modelling as a career, you should never disguise your identity. Never be ashamed of who you are. Modeling is a thriving industry, and you have the ability to succeed in any field you choose,” they express optimistically.
