EXCLUSIVE: Shaheen Bhatt on battling depression: My family makes me feel I am the best thing walking on earth

"The Deepest truth is found close to the deepest wound."- Mahesh Bhatt

These words resonate with me as I type down this interview on my laptop. We've been reading about the young and cheerful Alia Bhatt all these years. But today, I shift your focus to her lesser-known reclusive sibling: Shaheen Bhatt. 

Born into the influential family of directors and actors, Shaheen Bhatt surely saw herself getting into anything but depression! The 29-year old recently penned her journey of coming out from the deep, dark state of mental illness in her debut book- I've never been (Un)happier that brought her gamut of emotions from everyone around.

Pinkvilla caught up with this soft-hearted and vibrant Bhatt sister, who opened her heart on life post battling a decade old mental-illness, her family who happens to be her biggest strength, future plans and more in this unputdownable interview. Read on!

Excerpts:

When was that moment when you thought to yourself that you're going to scribble this dark journey down?

Shaheen: As soon as I was approached to write about it, I didn't even hesitate for a second and got on board immediately. It didn't really require a thought. There was just one meeting and I said yes immediately.

Were there any apprehensions on writing the book since you come from an illustrious film family?

Shaheen: When I was given the option to write it, I took it immediately because I was really honoured to talk about something on a public platform that I really believed in. And I come from a family where I have always been encouraged to speak my mind and discuss the uncomfortable topics too. 

I honestly feel the more uncomfortable the topic is, the more it needs to be shared and taken out of your chest. So, I didn't have any apprehensions; in fact, I was very glad that I was given this platform to write.

Not many know about the gravity of depression and its existence in the entertainment world. What do you have to say to those who are cobwebbed but don't speak up?

Shaheen: I feel it's a very personal choice whether you want to talk about it or whether you don't. I think the amount of stuff you go through internally when you have a mental illness takes enough of toll on you. So for if any reason you don't want to talk about it then it's your prerogative and that's completely understandable because it does take a lot of your energy to talk about it especially when you're a public figure. 

On the personal front, who was the first person in your family who got to know about your condition of mental illness?

Shaheen: That was my mother. Initially, like my own self even she didn't understand what was going on with me because it started when I was quite young and I went from being a very lively and boisterous teenager to someone very quiet and reserved, so I don't think even she realized what was happening. It took us a few years to sort of realize that it wasn't something growing up, it was something much bigger. And that's when I went to a doctor and got my proper diagnosis. 

Your family has been thoroughly supportive. Alia shared an emotional video, Pooja Bhatt documents all your interviews and shares on her social account. How does it make you feel when you look at all of it?

Shaheen: My family makes me feel like I am the best thing walking on this earth. Each one of them, whether it's my mother, father, brother or sisters; everyone have been so supportive and encouraging and they've spent so much time and effort in just reading me up and making me feel good about myself.

Alia also mentioned in her video that she was clueless that you were suffering from an illness. How did she react when she learned about this for the first time?

Shaheen: I think Alia could really only understand this once I gave her my book. I feel it's very difficult to describe your feeling of what's actually going inside your head to someone. So, I think even I was best able to explain it someone after writing it all down in my book.

What's your current state of mind? Now that the book is out and a major portion of what all was stored inside is released. 

Shaheen: I definitely feel lighter. I feel really relieved of the stuff that I felt was ganging up around me for so long. It's out now. 

Many people are talking about mental illness today, but a certain section of people are still quiet out of the fear of being termed 'Mad'. Do you have any message for them?

Shaheen: It's really simple. Please understand that if you have any other illness then you need to go and have your medication and diagnosis done. Similarly, if you're mentally disturbed or are not feeling good about yourself then also you must visit a doctor because a doctor is going to help you come out of the problem, and navigate it further for you and can tell you how to deal with it right. He will give you medication if required. This illness needs to be treated exactly the same way you'd treat any other illness in body. 

After the book, would we be seeing you filming a short movie on it too?

Shaheen: No. I only wanted to tell my story the way I could tell it, which was via a book. And my priority was to tell it to help others who want to talk about it but can't and help them to recognise themselves that they aren't the only ones going through it. 

You're taking some time off. What actually would you be doing now post the release of your book?

Shaheen: I am actually doing a course now in London. And I will be taking some time off from writing because I need to breathe out from the whole process.